Tuesday, February 1, 2011

First Day at Big School

Wow, how did this day come about so quickly? One minute I was being rushed into theatre for an emergency caesarean & meeting you my special first born, making sure you were all okay, just a little cleft lip, no cleft palate and top AGPAR scores, you were perfect!

Now all of a sudden you are 5 and off to big school. My big boy, you still looked so small & sweet in your uniform. I was reminded just how little you are as you clung to my legs begging me not to leave you, you were happy to stay so long as I did too.  You clung so tightly to my neck when I left again, there were tears from both of us. Sister Sarah looked after you and came out and told me you had settled. Just before we left you were looking out the door and saw me, you had the saddest little look on your face, it broke my heart...

Thankfully, it was only a 3 hour first day. When we picked you up you were excited to see us and seemed happy and keen to go back to school tomorrow. I asked about your day, what you did, and your only reply was "nothing". Apparently that is a good sign with boys! I am hoping there are no tears tomorrow and you settle in quickly to this new adventure!

I found this poem around the time you were born and found it again yesterday. The author is unknown:

Dear World: I bequeath to you today one tiny little boy...in a crisp new shirt...with two blue eyes...and a happy laugh that ripples all day long...and a flash of golden hair that glitters in the sun when he runs. I trust you'll treat him well.

He's slipping out of the backyard of my heart this morning...and skipping off to his first day of school. And never again will he be completely mine. Prim and proud he'll wave his young and independent  hand this morning and day "Good-bye" and walk with little boy steps to the classroom.

Now he'll learn to stand in lines...and wait for his name to be called. He'll learn to tune his ears for the sounds of school bells...and deadlines...and he'll learn to giggle...and gossip...and only pay attention when the teacher is watching. He'll learn how to feel hurt inside and he'll learn how not to cry.

No longer will he have time to sit in the backyard on a summer day and watch an ant scurry across a crack in the footpath. Nor will he have time to pop out of bed in the morning and lay on the couch engrossed in a much loved childhood show. No, now he'll have to worry about more important things...like grades and which 'cool' shirt to wear and which friends can play with him at recess. And the magic of books and learning will replace the magic of blocks and toy cars. And now he'll find new heroes.

For five full years now I've been his mentor and role model and pal and playmate and mother and friend. Now he'll learn to share his worship with his teachers, which is only right. But no longer will I be the smartest woman in the whole wide world.

Today when that school bell rings for the very first time...he'll learn what it means to be a member of the group...with all its privileges and its disadvantages too. He'll learn that in time proper young men do not laugh out loud...or kiss dogs...or keep bugs in jam jars in bedrooms...or even watch ants scurry across creeks in the footpath in the summer. Today he'll learn that all who smile at him are not his true friends. And I'll stand back and watch him start out the long, lonely journey to becoming a man.

So, world, I bequeath to you today, one little boy...in a crisp new shirt...with two blue eyes...and a flash of golden hair that glitters in the sunlight when he runs........I trust you'll treat him well.



  1. OMG! Stop it Fiona. STOP IT!!

    For the record, the answer to the "What did you do today?" being "Nothing" isn't confined to boys. That's all I've gotten too. It's only that both days they've come home to play schools with Emily being their teacher (a VERY bossy teacher lol! The real Miss Knuckey is one of those women who was born to be a reception teacher it seems, always glowing and smiley and almost sickenly lovely!) and Kaitlyn being the "reception kid" that I've had an inkling as to what they've been up to and done.

    It's such a big step in all of our lives! Hope tomorrow's drop off is far less traumatic x

  2. Ha Heath, it was your lovely post about Emily & Kaitlyn that inspired me x

  3. Boohoohoooohhhhhhooooo!

    Beautiful Fi. xxxxx

  4. so beautifully written and those pics are so precious .. he sounds like a darling boy !!! my first time here on your blog and i'll be back ..hugz x